Forgiveness
by 3DBABE1999
Summary: Sam and Dean's relationship as friends and brothers gets put through the ultimate tests as it comes to light that their issues are NOT resolved and that Dean hasn't really let go of Sam's mistakes. Season 9 timeframe.


**"Forgiveness."**

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**A/N:** Please keep in mind that the overall plot and theme of this story revolves around (past as well as potential future) mistakes, resentments, regrets, guilt, forgiveness, faith, loyalty, family and love...

**A/N:** I have an idea for the Title Card that Supernatural could use for Season 9 (You know how each Season has a different theme?.. Goo Splat for Season 7, glowing Tablet writing for Season 8 and so on?..) well this Season could be a staticky T.V. screen (It'd be a great omage to Poltergeist (And we can never have to many omages to a great classic) and it's something they haven't done for the entirety of the Title Card (Season 1 had a brief flash of a staticky T.V. screen) and I think the whole Title Card being filled up with a staticky T.V. screen and the high pitched ringing that's considered "angel speak") will be a great call back to Season 1 as well as represent the 9th Seasom) because static produces "White Noise" which (reportedly) is a common conduit needed to record E.V.P. and I think that what happened at the end of Season 8 might have caused all of the older T.V.'s around the world to go staticky all at once as well as possibly produced several occurances of E.V.P. through those staticky T.V.'s. (And since I think that there's only going to be one more Season after Season 9 so I think a call back to the First Season would definitely be in order.. By the way the Title Card for the Last Season of Supernatural should be A ROAD.. And I think it would be obvious as to why it should be a road.)

**A/N:** Season 9 and 10 time frames (Probably no Spoilers for Season 9 or Season 10 since I can't see the future... But definite Spoilers for Season 8 (Especially the Season 8 Finale so IF you haven't seen the Season 8 Finale then you probably don't want to read from this point on because the Spoilers will be in the next Author's Note).). This story will cover several diferent story lines and character archs but it will all fit together.

**Be Forewarned:** My Author's Notes can get rather lengthy and numerous and lots of times may contain Spoilers for this story (I'm REALLY bad about giving spoilers to the stuff I'm writing).. But please don't let that put you off of reading this though. I just like giving my theories and points of view on some things (That end up in my story) and I also like pointing out some boo boo's that have been made by the show.

**A/N:**_**SPOILER ALERT**_**:****One boo boo in particular is:** In Season 8 "As Time Goes By." Dean says that John's dad disapeared or walked out on their dad when John was FOUR YEARS OLD in 1958 (although we all now know that John's dad ended up traveling to and dying in the future).

Yet when Dean goes back to 1973 in Season 4 "In the beginning." that older guy that walks into the diner where Dean just so happens to unknowingly be sitting right next to his father says:

"Hey, Winchester. Son of a bitch. How you doing, Corporal?"

John answers "Hey, Mr. D."

The guy then says "I heard you were back."

And John says "A little while now."

The guy says "Good to have you home, John. Damn good."

THEN the guy says these words "Well, say hello to YOUR OLD MAN for me."

And John says "You got it, Mr. D."

SO.. If John's dad had walked out on John, or disappeared on John (or time traveled to and died in the future) when John was FOUR in 1958.. Then who in the hell is Mr. D referring to when he tells John to say "Hello." to**his old man** in 1973?..

Maybe John had a Step-Dad or Henry had a brother that raised John like a son?.. I don't know..

Maybe the writers didn't catch the mistake or maybe they did it just to screw with our minds.

**By the way I'm upset that John's father was named Henry and NOT James like I was hoping.. **

Maybe John did have a Step-Father or Henry had a brother that raised John like a son and his name was James?.. (**Hint, HINT.. To the writers of Supernatural!**)(Because if John had a father figure named James at some point and Jimmy Novak turned out to really be the son of John and Mary Winchester, then "Jimmy" could be named after John's father figure "James" the way Sam and Dean are named after Mary's parents!.. **Hint, HINT, wink, nudge**...** Pouty face?**) (Will any of my begging for the writers of Supernatural to use some of my suggestions work?)

**A/N:** Some people may consider Dean to be out of character in this story (because in this story he's kind of acting like he did during almost the whole first half of Season 8) but I honestly think, that with everything that's going on and all the pressure that Dean might possibly start feeling, Dean might snap.

I'm pretty much saying that there's a big possibility that the Dean we see at the start of Season 9 is NOT going to be shelling out the fluffy comfort moments that most of us fans are craving..

The angels fell out of Heaven.. Metatron broke HEAVEN for crying out loud! And we all know Dean's going to somehow feel at least partially responsible..

And.. We ALL know how Dean gets when he thinks he's failed (or going to fail) at something.. He either endlessly berrates and belittles himself OR he takes it out on someone else (Or he does both at the same time.)..

Usually, it's Sam, that Dean takes things out on and I don't know about anyone else but Dean has a pattern lately..

When Dean's not taking things out on Sam, then he's taking things out on Cass..

BUT the things Dean says to Cass are things that seem to be directed at not **just** Cass.. A lot of the time when Dean takes his anger out on Cass he says things that seem to actually be directed at Sam as well.. The two times that really comes to mind is the end of Season 7 when Dean told Cass that "No one cares that he's broken." and the next to last Episode of Season 8 when Dean said all that hurtful stuff he said to Cass.. Yet notice how Sam was right there both times when Dean went off and how Dean's words seem to be inclusive for Sam as well as Cass?

And then there's Sam..

I have a feeling that Sam's had a problem with feeling like he's never been a "good enough" brother as well as feeling like he was never a "good enough" son.

In fact I think Sam has a problem with feeling like he can't be "good enough" or "matter enough" for anyone and if you don't think I'm pegging something then re-watch Season 1 there's a moment where Sam tells Dean that it always felt like no matter what he did that it was like it was never "good enough" for their dad, and then Season 5 "Dark side of the Moon." when we as viewers found out that Sam ran away to Flagstaff, YEAH we as viewers know that Dean loves Sam but it seemed to me like Sam didn't matter enough for anyone to have ever asked Sam WHY he ran away and of course the thoughts of the word "Worthless" before Dean threw The Amulet away still makes me want to bawl my eyes out so I can only imagine how Sam feels every time Dean brings up the mistakes Sam has made..

Because there's been times when it seems like Dean just loves to remind Sam of all his mistakes no matter what good things Sam has done or tried to do. Dean will never let Sam live those mistakes down. Like nothing Sam does will ever be "good enough" for Dean or "good enough" to earn real (permanent) forgiveness from Dean..

It's like no matter what Sam does to try and prove his love and loyalty to Dean that Sam's love and loyalty will always be as "Worthless" as The Amulet that once represented that love and loyalty, all because of the times Dean's felt betrayed by Sam.

But when one really looks at things with Dean it becomes apparent that Dean's not really a very forgiving person.. In fact he seems to be the type that DOESN'T forgive even one mistake (Even though he's says the mistake is forgiven or forgotten.. Then Dean brings the mistake up later and when he does it's clear that he's holding tons of resentment over the mistake), even when the person who made the mistake was really young when the mistake was made (Cause it was pretty obvious that Dean still held resentment against Sam for the time when Sam ran away to Flagstaff) or even if the person who made the mistake was only trying to do the right thing. I think here would be a good area to point out that I'm pretty sure Ruby kept telling Sam that Lillith could have Dean drug back to Hell at any time Lillith fancied which would explain why Sam was still hellbent (he he hellbent lol!) on killing Lillith even after Dean came back from the dead.

And because Dean has problems with letting go of the mistakes that those closest to have made, then it's most likely that Dean is going to have issue with trusting anyone but himself because all he'd be able to see is everyone else's mistakes.

So, really it's like, NO ONE (who's alive) is really "good enough" for Dean.

Maybe THAT'S WHY Dean is considered "The Rightious Man"?..

**I know, most people that's writing what they think happened when the screen faded to black after the Season 8 Finale and what, they think, we'll see from Sam and Dean at the start of Season 9 are writing fluff and happiness (and I want to see that between Sam and Dean, really I do) and my take on things might make me a bit of an outcast amongst my peers.. **

I just don't think that things between the Winchester brothers will be so easily resolved, we as viewers have heard Dean say he forgave Sam in Season 6 "Then there were none." and most of us viewers may think it's safe to assume that Dean has really, truly forgiven Sam this time..

BUT, all it takes is once for Dean to (inadvertantly, without thinking (he tends to do that sometimes) or on purpose) mention Sam being with Ruby, Sam drinking demon blood, Sam letting Lucifer free or Sam's loss of soul and then it'll be like any forgiveness that Sam obtained has been taken right back and I honestly think Sam would probably lose it the second that happened and even if Season 9 starts out all warm and fuzzy I think it will happen, because in all honesty Sam and Dean HAVE NOT resolved their problems, they've only burried them under the surface to fester and get infected by regret and resentment like all the rest of their unresolved issues.

**A/N:** **1st **_**MAIN**_** STORY LINE:** First thing to be covered is my story line of what happens after Dean gets Sam back to "The Batcave" (Cause one would assume that's where they'll go.) after the end of the Season 8 Finale..

The story line is this: That just because Dean had the little "Chick-Flick Moment" inside the church where he told Sam that he doesn't put ANYTHING in front of Sam (LOVED that moment by the way.. I cried so hard when Dean said that to Sam.) doesn't mean that Dean won't still have a few moments where he's a jackass that says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

In this story Dean will still have moments where he seems to hold Sam's being with Ruby, drinking demon blood and loss of soul over Sam's head. THEN factor in one stupid thing that Dean says that Sam overhears and Sam starts thinking that there's no way that Dean will ever stop rubbing his nose in every mistake he's ever made..

Of course that means that Sam and Dean will end up splitting up for a while (Again) (Not for forever though and it won't happen for at least a couple of Chapters) and their relationship as brothers and friends gets put through the ultimate tests...

**A/N:** **WARNINGS:** BAD, BAD language, Mentions of Pre-Series child neglect and abuse (After all John was leaving an eight year old Dean to take care of a four year old Sam for hours to sometimes days on end (According to Season 1 "Something Wicked." an eight year old Dean had been in the room alone with a four year old Sam for THREE DAYS. And I'm sorry but like it or not THAT IS both child neglect AND abuse and it's also child endangerment now that I think about it (Cause anything could have happened to Sam and Dean).), Pre-Series rape of a minor child (Sam.. By clowns at Plucky's when Sam is 13 and it's why (in my story line anyway) Sam ran away to Flagstaff), NON-CONSENSUAL SEX (Rape) (Sam's time in The Cage), P.T.S.D., Mentions of sexually transmitted diseases, Spoilers for Season 8 (and for the story in general).. AND Lots of angst and limp Sam and Dean.

**A/N:**** 2nd **_**MAIN STORY LINE:**_ Dean's time as a torturer in Hell catches up to him in the worst ways possible as things he didn't know about Sam's past as well as things he didn't know (or didn't realise) about his own are drug into the light...

**MORE WARNINGS:** Lots of violence, blood and gore. The (violently, bloddy and gorey) death of an OC (My own character, who is NOT a Mary Sue) and mentions of the abuse, beating, torture and rape of a minor child who is another OC (Who is also not a Mary Sue) which I know is a sensitive subject, but it's important to the plot of the entire story.

The tragedy is that no matter how sensitive the issue of a child being hurt is, it's also something that REALLY happens in our day to day world and the sick individuals who perpetrate such acts do so without demonic influence to drive them.

**A/N:** Acording to Season 8 Garth went M.I.A. (Missing In Action) and still had not been found by the Season 8 Finale (THANK YOU writers of Supernatural that helps me with the **2nd **_**MAIN STORY LINE**_ of this story in ways you can not imagine!)

Also, Charlie and Cass know how to get to "The Batcave." and I think it'd be fun if Charlie met both Kevin and the "dreamy and helpful" Cass...

**A/N:** One more note before I go to writing the story..

Everybody thinks "Chuck" is GOD.. (Lord knows I'm still on the "Chuck" is GOD bandwagon) BUT for all intents and purposes: Let's for a second forget the notion that Chuck is GOD and allow ourselves to believe that GOD is someone we haven't yet seen on the show...

NOW with that in mind...

We all remember what a sense of humor Gabriel had and Balthazar had quite a bit of flare and since GOD is their dad, I think that he'd be someone with a big (although sometimes inappropriate) sense of humor, as well as someone who has a lot of dramatical flare.. But who also seems to be like an overgrown six year old at times (Not in mannerisms or inteligence but in maturity.)

AND.. I think I know the PERFECT person who could play GOD (If the Series ever decides to show him.).

Now before I reveal the person I think should play GOD on Supernatural, First let me share a few things I can imagine GOD doing or saying and then people who actually read this Author's Note can tell me whether or not they agree via review or Private Message..

So I'm thinking this.. Dean somehow finds GOD and GOD is not what Dean was expecting and GOD says..

"_Well if you prefer the classic look_." Then GOD changes to the whole robbed and bearded figure that most people think of when they think of how GOD looks.

Then GOD says "_Nah.. It's a little too Charlton Heston. Don't ya think?"_

I also invision GOD making a farting noise with his mouth while making the back of Dean's pants balloon animatedly out (without ripping) and sounding indignent as he goes "_Dean! I thought even you would know better than to release flatulance in the presence of GOD!_" Then GOD makes the noise again while making the back of his own pants balloon out and says in an impish voice as he turns and tries to talk to his own rear "_Hey buddy!_ _No one asked your opinion!_"

And when Dean tries to convince GOD to fix things, GOD sounds a little childish (I can even picturing him toeing the ground like a scolded child) as he says "_This why I left Heaven.. Everyone kept asking me to fix stuff._"

Then GOD sounds benevolent as he says "_No one seems to get that I gave Free-Will to everything. It's not my fault that there are beings who would abuse that Free-Will or try to take it away from other beings. You see Dean.. I can't really control anything. Yeah I could snap my fingers and fix a few things.. Maybe even fix everything that's wrong. But things wouldn't stay fixed for long. Because everything in the Universe has the Free-Will to choose to screw it all up again._"

So that's my take on what (Supernatural's version of) GOD might be like.. NOW.. Who I think would be the perfect person to play GOD on Supernatural is... Robin Williams!... Yes, SERIOUSLY!.. I just can't get it out of my head how perfect he'd be for playing Gabriel's dad! PLUS I think Robin Williams could pull off being funny, childish and benevolent really well.

And yeah.. I'm totally using that idea for this story (Like I said I'm BAD about giving Spoilers!), although it'll be a few Chapters before I get there. But now all you readers know who I invisioned as GOD when you get to that part of the story (I also have a pretty good idea on what's going to get GOD to end up helping after all.).

**I hope everyone who reads my work will read and like (**_**Actually hopefully love**_**) this story… PLEASE review cause I'm putting a lot of work into this story and I want this story to be my masterpiece...**

ANYWAY on to the story!...

Please read, enjoy and review!...

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|"Forgiveness."| |Chapter 1.|

|"Mistakes."| |Part 1.|

**SEASON 9.** **Episode 1: ****"Silence."**|Part 1.|

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_May 15, 2013_...

Sam and Dean were still sitting against the side of the Impala as the last of the gold lights cascaded from the sky.

Sam still sounded like he was having a hard time breathing and Dean could feel his chest getting tight as his lungs also began to fight to draw in air.

It was wierd, even with as scared as he'd been earlier over the possibility of losing Sam, Dean had been able to breath just fine. But now that the angels were falling Dean felt like he'd been kicked in the chest by a mule.

Dean felt himself rapidly getting to a point where he was in just as bad of shape as Sam. That wasn't acceptable to Dean because if he started getting weak now.. Then who would take care of Sam?

At some point Sam had passed out and he was slumped over, against the side of the Impala.

Figuring that since Sam was unconscious and wouldn't remember this to call him on it later, Dean pulled Sam to his chest and held him just so he could reassure himself that no matter how hard it seemed for Sam to breath, that Sam was indeed still breathing.

Knowing that an angel had fallen only a few feet away Dean realised that he needed to get the lead out and move Sam to the back seat of the Impala, then go back into the church to finish of Crowley, before the angel that had fallen close to them, could resurface. Because with Dean's experience with angels, he knew that the majority of angels weren't big fans of the Winchester brothers.

Grimacing through the labor of lifting over two hundred pounds of muscular dead weight, Dean finally managed to get Sam safely into the back of the Impala. As soon as he had the back passanger side door closed, Dean started moving back to the church. He needed to kill Crowley and finally be done with "The "King" of Hell" once and for all.

"What the fff?..." Dean let his horrified yet astonished whisper taper off as he moved to the now empty chair where Crowley had been sitting.

The demonic handcuffs and collar hadn't even been broken, neither had the devil's trap and all Dean could think was "_How the HELL did Crowley get away?!_"

So, there was now both, Abaddon and Crowley to worry about.

Dean was pissed as hell as he trudged out into the rain.

Dean slammed the driver's side door of the Impala, then peeled out of the church parking lot, driving erractically in his desperation to get back to Lebanon to try and see what sorts of answers he could garner from The Bat-Cave about what he needed to be doing now that everything seemed to be going to Hell in a handbasket.

~0~

_Back at the Bat-Cave_

Kevin was in a panic as he desperately tried to figure out how to get the alarms to stop blaring.

He tried puhing buttons (And prayed that he wasn't accidentally launching a missle or something equally as bad as he did so.) flipped switches, pulled levers and turned dials, but nothing was making the alarms shut off.

So when everything suddenly went quiet again and not just quiet, but _SCARY QUIET_, Kevin found himself honerstly hoping to hear the alarms start blaring again, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the eery silence, with no idea what had happened, what was happening, what was going to happen and no idea what he should do now.

He started with inspecting the lights that had appeared on the map. There were thousands of them, that had to mean something big had happened and that whatever it was that had happened was most likely bad.

"_Of course it was bad you idiot._" Kevin thought to himself as he channeled his inner Dean. "_What else could those alarms have meant? That the ice cream man was on his way?_"

Thinking of Dean made Kevin realise that maybe he needed to call Sam and Dean and first tell them about how there hideout went haywire, then ask why the hell it had gone haywire.

Kevin had a pretty good idea what the alarms going off had meant, as well as a pretty good idea of what the lights on the map might represent.. But like his mom always used to say "_De-Nial isn't just a river in Egypt._" and Kevin just did not want to think about all of the angels having fallen from Heaven.

Because if he did and that was true..

Then just what in the hell did that mean?..

Was Heaven broken now? If it was.. Did that mean that the world would break now too? Or was everything going to get better now that there was one less race of supernatural asshats to mess things up?..

Kevin called both Sam's and Dean's cell phones at least a dozen times only to get their voicemails each time.

Which admittedly, had made Kevin panic, because he had heard Naomi say that Sam would die if he completed the third trial and if Dean hadn't gotten to Sam on time then most likely Sam was dead, but then that meant the Gates of Hell were closed.

A chill went down Kevin's spine as he thought about how the alarms and the lights could have somehow meant demons..

What if something had gone wrong with closing the Gates of Hell and now all the lights on the map represented all the demons that had been let lose?..

What if both Sam AND Dean were dead?

What was Kevin supposed to do then?

How would he even know if they were dead?

Should he try leaving the lair?

Where would he go?

Kevin tried praying for Cass. Cass never showed up.

Kevin tried calling Garth. But several people had been trying and failing to get a hold of Garth for a couple of weeks now.

Maybe Garth was dead?

Maybe everybody Kevin knew, was dead?

When the door to the Bat-Cave burst open Kevin flinched so hard it felt like his skin had tried to go running off without the rest of him.

A drenched Dean, was dragging an equaly drenched, but a lot less conscious Sam in through the door.

Kevin's mind went numb as he realised that Dean was alive and Sam was.. Well Sam wasn't dead...

Kevin never thought he'd be so thankful to know that he still wasn't all alone in all of this crap that seemed to be hitting the fan all at once.

"What's going on out there?" Kevin asked as he followed Dean into Sam's room.

"The angels fell." Dean replied matter of factly as he laid Sam out on the bed and started tugging one of Sam's boots off.

"Holy crap." Kevin said breathlessly as he moved around to Sam's other side and started trying to help with getting Sam's other boot off.

"Back off." Dean said as he smacked Kevin's hand away.

"I was just trying to.."

"I can take care of him.."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kevin asked cautiously, his hands raised in a placating manner as he edged himself towards the door.

"I just need to do this alone for right now."

"Okay. I'll be downstairs if you need me." Kevin called over his shoulder once he knew he was safely out of swinging distance.

Dean didn't say anything in return as he went back to taking care of Sam...

Kevin was sleeping with his head down on one of the tables in the lair's study when Dean finally came trapsing through the study on his way to the kitchen to search for food.

Dean felt guilty for having had such a short fuse with Kevin. But damn it there's only so many times a person can witness the world being on the verge of literal annihilation before something breaks inside them that can't easily be fixed. Especially since the world being on the verge of literal annihilation usually came about because of someone close to him screwed up somehow.

"Hey." Dean whispered as he nudged Kevin's shoulder to wake him.

Kevin was slow to rouse. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He said sounding groggy once he was finally fully awake.

"It's not a problem Kev. I was just gonna let you know that we have extra rooms, spare beds. If you wanna crash someplace a little more comfortable." Dean knew that it wasn't the apology that Kevin deserved, but it was sincere and he hoped that Kevin could read between the lines that the offer for a bed was Winchester speak for "I'm sorry.".

"Thanks man." Kevin said as he stood, then he hesitated and asked. "Is Sam gonna be okay?"

Dean tensed up as he tried not to lose his cool. He knew it wasn't Kevin's fault that something was wrong with Sam and he knew that Kevin only wanted to help. It was difficult for Dean to reign in the unreasonable anger that was surging through his veins, he gritted his teeth and felt helpless as he admitted that he didn't know.

Kevin turned to one of the book shelves and pulled down one of the thickest books then sat back down at his previous place at the table.

"What are you doin Kev?" Dean asked as he felt aprehension building in his gut.

"Whatever I can to help."

Dean gave a nod of gratitude as he moved to the shelf and pulled down a book of his own, then he sat down with Kevin and started doing whatever he could to help as well...

~0~

_May 16, 2013_...

Dean had his gun out of his waist band and pointed at the entrance to the Bat-Cave in a flash when the door burst open for the second time in less than twenty-four hours.

He lowered it again almost as fast when he saw that it was Charlie and she was helping to take a seemingly injured Castiel's weight.

"Dudes what the hell is going on?!" Charlie shouted before she started rambling about the lights falling from the sky, making her way to the lair to find out if the world was ending, AGAIN (Cause it'd be nice to know if she should be looking for some hot "Last night on Earth sex".) and finding Cass (Who the book cover's art does not do justice to.) on her way in.

Dean was ignoring Kevin's "Books.. What books?" as well as the rest of Charlie's ramblings to focus on Cass.

"Cass.. What happened up there man?" Dean asked trying his best to not just rip Cass out of Charlie's supportive grip and start shaking all of the answers he needed out of him.

"Metaron.. He got the last of what he needed. It was a spell to cast the angels out of Heaven. Just like Naomi said. I'm so sorry Dean."

"So what now?" It was Kevin who asked this time.

"I'm sorry. I don't know. Metatron took my grace for the final ingredient of the spell. He made me human before he sent me back. I don't know if any of the other angels still have their grace or if they're all human like me now. I think the only way to find any of them to make sure will be to follow reports of things like multiple Electronic Voice Phenomenons that happened simultaneously on the night the angels fell to figure out where any of them may have landed."

Now Dean was silently cursing himself because he had been less than fifty yards from an angel only a few hours ago and he hadn't even thought to try and find out if the angel still had any kind of devine mojo or if the angel had been made human.

Now Dean really took stock of Castiel's condition. Apparently he was hurting bad enough that he needed to Charlie to support almost half of his weight.

Dean pulled a chair from the table and told Cass to have a seat so that Charlie wouldn't fall over while trying to help hold him up.

Cass plopped down in the chair and looked up at Dean with exaustion and pain apparant in his gaze.

With Cass looking so hurt, tired and HUMAN it was hard for Dean to stay angry with him.

Now that Cass was sitting, Dean started doing a visual triage. "Where's it hurt?" Dean asked when he couldn't really see any obvious injury.

"My foot. I think it's broken."

Dean nodded as he knelt and started working to get Cass' shoes off.

"Damn it Cas." Dean whispered as he saw the swelling of Cass' right foot. "It's definitely broken and I haven't got a way to put a cast on it. You're gonna have to be laid up for a while."

Kevin knelt next to Dean and asked "Do you need me and um.. Uh?"

"Charlie." Charlie chimed in helpfully.

"Charlie. To go get one of the rooms ready for him?"

"That'd be great Kev. Thanks."

Kevin guided Charlie to the area of the lair where the there were still empty rooms.

"So how do you know the boys?" Charlie asked in a cheerful manner.

"It's a long story. So.. How do you know them?"

"It's a long story." Charlie replied with a chuckle.

"My name's Kevin, by the way." Kevin said as he extended his hand.

Charlie smiled and shook the offered hand and said "Nice to meet you Kevin. Any friend of Sam and Dean's is a friend of mine."

Charlie and Kevin cleaned out one of the spare rooms and got one of the extra beds made with clean linens before they returned to the study where Dean was now wrapping Cass' foot with an ace-bandage.

"It's the best I could come up with on such short notice." Dean stated,sounding defensive before anyone could say anything "It was either this or take him to a hospital and I can't leave Sam."

"Wait. What's wrong with Sam?" Charlie asked sounding horrified.

Dean scrubbed his palm across his face as he answered "I don't know. He collapsed just as the angels started falling from Heaven, then he started having problems breathing right before he passed out."

"Well you already said that the trials were taking a lot out of him." Charlie replied trying to be helpful and comforting "Maybe completing the last one really.."

"He didn't complete the last one." Dean all but growled as he interupted Charlie.

Charlie looked like she wanted to ask "_Why._" but it was clear that she thought better than to do so, especially in the face of Dean's angry outburst. So she just settled for a nervous "Oh." before she dropped into one of the empty chairs at the table.

Kevin moved around to help Dean get Cass standing so that they could guide Cass to the room he'd be staying in...

~0~

_May 17, 2013_...

Dean was in the kitchen making himself some lunch while Charlie and Kevin had some down time.

Dean could hear Charlie challenge Kevin to try his deck against hers and Dean wondered just what in the hell they were going on about with talk of how Charlie's "Myr" deck was going to beat Kevin's "Elves" deck.

He wished he hadn't, have been so curious because when he came out of the kitchen with his food Charlie asked him if he wanted to learn to play some card game called "Magic".

Dean took one look at how the table was set up and said "No thanks, I always swore I'd never play any games that involed dice with more than six sides."

"Hey. We are NOT Dungeons and Dragons nerds!" Charlie said with indignation clear in her voice.

"Well okay. I WAS a Dungeons and Dragons nerd.. But Magic's a completely different game." Charlie added with a slight pout.

Kevin just shook his head and chuckled silently as he picked up one of the decks of cards and began to shuffle.

Dean sat down with his food and started looking through a few books to see if he could find a way to help Sam get better.

Dean knew he'd be lying if he said that he hadn't payed enough attention to Charlie and Kevin's game to know that any creatures on the ground couldn't block a creature with flying unless it had reach or there was some sort of equipment, enchantment or instant that gave the blocking creature either reach or flying or that took away the attacking creature's ability to fly.. He also payed enough attention to know that unless a creature with trample was blocked with enough defense of either one or more creatures then the damage not blocked would cause damage to the defending player's life total.

By the time Charlie beat Kevin .. Okay "_Kicked his ass_." in Charlie's words. Dean was thinking that Magic did seem like it'd be a pretty fun game.. Not that he'd EVER admit that out loud. Especially since he didn't want to admit that for a very, _very_ brief stint in the fourth grade he had Role Played as a strong Level 3 Rogue named Drifter during a few Dungeons and Dragons games that he played instead of doing his work like he was supposed to while he was in Study Hall.

Later that evening Charlie and Kevin had settled back down to work through more books while Dean took a few hours to get some down time. Although both Charlie and Kevin had said that Dean's downtime didn't really count as downtime.

But Dean had closed himself off and wouldn't let anyone help to take care of neither Sam nor Cass and he wouldn't let Charlie nor Kevin do research by themselves so that there could be three shifts instead of two because "_Two sets of eyes is better than one_." and Dean refused to acknowledge that he did not have a second set of eyes as well as refused every time either Charlie or Kevin offered to help him with anything.

"Sorry he gets like this sometimes." both Charlie and Kevin whispered almost in unison as they tried to explain their friend's behavior to one another, because they kept forgetting that they both already knew Dean.

Kevin gave a light chuckle and Charlie grinned as she whispered "Especially when he's worried about Sam." Kevin nodded in agreement because he might not have known a lot about Dean but he's come to realise that when Dean's worried about Sam of all people then Dean tends to get a little, well, "Rough around the edges." would be a mild way of putting it.

~0~

_May 20, 2013_

Dean had been climbing the walls for two days straight.

One would think that he would have calmed down once Sam was awake, but instead, Dean was even more wound up if anything. But maybe some of Dean's tension was partly because Sam had woken up just as suddenly as he had gone seemingly comatose and there hadn't even been a need for some sort of rare cure that was nearly impossible to obtain.

For two days, Sam had practically done nothing but continually reassuring EVERYONE that he felt better, even stronger now that whatever it was that had sidelined him was finally out of his system.

But Dean made it obvious that he didn't believe Sam because according to Dean "_It wouldn't be the first time Sam's lied_."

And according to Dean, that even if Sam really was fine then it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped and Sam ended up passing out again. Because there was no way that whatever havok the trials had wreaked on Sam was even close to being done and there was no way that Sam had gone through all that crap without sustaining some kind of permanent damage.

Even though Sam couldn't predict what sort of damage he might have sustained when he honestly felt fine, Dean wouldn't hesitate to let Sam know that even if the effects of whatever damage he might have, struck without warning that it would all somehow boil down to Sam having lied about being fine.

So for two days the tension between Sam and Dean had built up until it had gotten thick enough to use as a blanket and so heavy that just the weight of it was enough to break solid stone...

Dean was sitting at one of the tables in the study with Charlie and Kevin when the first breaking point happened.

Dean had been reading a book about how Purgatory's Eve had tricked some poor guy into becoming the first Alpha-Shapeshifter and he'd probably meant it as a joke when he said "Hey Sammy this guy kind of reminds me of you. You know the way he let some monster bitch trick him into doing something stupid."

When Sam slammed his fist down on the table both Charlie and Kevin flinched and started looking for someplace where they wouldn't be in the path of Sam's anger.

"Damn it Dean." Sam snarled. "You said you never put anything in front of me!"

Now Dean looked taken aback as he tentively said "I don't Sam."

"Yes. You do. Dean." Sam looked on the verge of tears as he said "My mistakes. Dean.. Every single chance you get, you're putting my mistakes in front of me."

"Sammy that's not what..."

"Yes it is Dean. You still hold all of my mistakes against me. I just need to know if you're always going to hold all of those mistakes against me. I know I don't deserve it. But.. Is there any way I can ever really earn your forgiveness? Is there anything I can do that will ever be good enough for you to be willing to let my mistakes go?"

Dean's face became expressionless as he replied in a stern tone "You're right Sam. I guess I never forgave you, not really anyway. The thing is I don't know Sam. I honestly haven't got a damn clue how to get past some of the crap you've pulled."

"Okay." Sam was trembling and there were tears in his eyes as he said it "Well I don't know how to make things right, especially since you don't really seem to want to give me the chance."

Dean gave no reply as he turned back to his book. He and Sam didn't say another word to one another for the rest of that night...

~0~

_May 22, 2013_...

Dean had gone into Cass' room to rewrap Cass' foot and Kevin was busy pouring over the Angel-Tablet and over half of The Men of Letters' library trying to find a way to fix all of the things that Metatron might have broken, so the only person to help Charlie with moving a heavy ass antique dresser that Kevin didn't want from Kevin's room to what was now going to be her permanent room was Sam.

It just really sucked that to get that heavy ass antique dresser from Kevin's room to hers they had to pass by Cass' room and it really, _really_ **sucked** that the door was left open and Cass and Dean's conversation could be heard clearly, even out in the hall.

And Dean knew that Sam was just outside the room with Charlie because he made the quip that it was good to see that Sam could finally start doing his share of the heavy lifting before he resumed his conversation with Cass.

Castiel's voice sounded emotional as it filtered out into the hall "All I really know for sure is that we can expect to see a dramatic increase in violent demonic activities."

"You mean more than just possesions and demonic omens?" Dean asked.

"I mean now that there are no angels that can or will intervene the impending surge of demonic activity could be the worst event to come to pass since the beginning of time."

"So because we lost our only chance to close up Hell a whole bunch of demons are gonna wreck the world?"

Sam and Charlie had just reached the door to Charlie's room when that unfortunate portion of Cass and Dean's conversation made Sam flinch like he'd been slapped.

Sam looked devastated when he dropped his side of the dresser and turned to storm towards Cass' room.

"Oh.. So not good." Charlie whispered to herself as she stood helplessly frozen to the spot with no idea what to do.

From her spot in the hall Charlie could hear as Sam's clearly heartbroken voice shouted "You asked me to stop! You asked me to let it go! I did what you asked Dean! I did what you asked and all you can see is just another mistake to put in front of me!"

Now Charlie found herself moving towards Castiel's room feeling weary as her voice cracked when she said "Sam. It wasn't a mistake. If you'd completed the last trial you would've died. Dean.. Tell him that it wasn't a mistake!"

Dean remained quiet and Sam took the silence to heart and before he fled the room he turned to Dean and said "I get that I can never earn your forgiveness. I get that it's something I'll never deserve. But I also don't deserve to have my nose rubbed in every single thing that I've ever done wrong."

The second Sam was gone Charlie let out a shaky breath and Dean brushed past her, leaving Cass' room without saying anything to either her or Cass...

~0~

_September 12, 2013_...

For three and a half months the signs of violent demonic activity had increased to insurmountable levels just like Cass had predicted and everyone at the lair found themselves swamped with looking over thousands of daily reports of: "Strange occurances", "Freak accidents", "Wierd sightings" and "Abnormal weather patterns" in attempts to figure out patterns of victims or benefactors, time frames and demonic hotspots. Even Sam and Dean had, had to once again "stow their crap", let all their family issues and personal dramas stay unresolved and work together, because they were so busy following leads on possible big time demonic activities, that they didn't have a lot of time for neither bickering nor being annoyingly good at giving each other the silent treatment.

Cass was put in charge of looking for signs of any of the fallen angels while Kevin was put in charge of translating the angel tablet and Charlie was in charge of helping organize hunts and providing cover stories for hunters because Garth was still missing and someone needed to be in charge of making sure that the hunts that proved more threat to mankind were given top priority.

The increase in demonic activity was also causing a frenzy of avtivities from other supernatural creatures.

Charlie was manning the phones for a couple of hunters in Tenessee who needed backup cordinated to their area because they had found themselves out numbered three to one by a small tribe of angry Adroanzis when she got a call from a hunter out in California that reported spotting an abandonned vehicle that matched the description of Garth's car. He'd found the car in a place that was so "out in the middle of nowhere" that it was unlikely that anyone other than another hunter would have ever come across it.

When Charlie called Sam and Dean with the details, they asked her to find out what sort of activity had been happening over the last six months in the area the vehicle had been found in so that they could get an idea of what Garth had been hunting when he disappeared.

According to what Charlie could dig up, it wasn't good because Garth had disapeared at least a whole month before the angels fell, yet it looked like Garth had found some intense activity of what looked to be a group of powerful demons.

And if Charlie was right about that many higher level demons being that active, then that meant that a least a few higher level demons might have known about what was going to happen before it happened. Well it seemed like Crowley had, had a few Heavenly insiders to get "word from the cloud".. So who was to say that other demons didn't have their own Heavenly connections?

Dean wouldn't put it past a bunch of angelic asshats to work with demons...

Maybe even Metatron had allied himself with a demon?...

Maybe the cluster fuck-shit storm that had seemingly started building up before the angels even fell had been exactly what Metaatron had wanted?

No, Dean wouldn't put anything past anyone at this point, he'd already let his guard down one too many times in the past and he'd paid the price of becoming complacent each and every time.

No, as far as Dean was concerned, anyone was capable of anything and he knew better than to let himself make the mistake of really trusting anyone but himself ever again...

* * *

**~0~**

**A/N:** Yes I know we as viewers have never heard anyone on Supernatural use "Fuck" (Although Dean did come REALLY close in Season 8 Episode 8 "Hunteri Heroici") or "Shit" but I honestly think that "cluster fuck-shit storm" accurately describes how badly things are messed up in this story.

**A/N:** Anything from _May 15, 2013_ to _May 22, 2013 _is supossed to be like a flashback of what various chacters remember about the things that had happened the first few weeks after the angels fell, it would technically be the scene that comes on just before the Title Card comes up. The stuff that happened during _September 12, 2013_ is technically the stuff that would have the Opening Credits appearing at the bottom of the screen.. So this first Chapter is pretty much the start of the First Episode to Season 9 and I plan to have the next Chapter finishing out the First Episode.

I'm not going to always try to name Episodes. But there will be times when I think I have a good title name (Like there's one Episode I have written in my head that I plan to call "Coyote and Raven" (I bet you readers can't guess who the characters are gonna be for this one (lol)!.. Like it's not blatantly **obvious** or something..). Though MOST of the time the Chapters are going to be Sub-Sectioned off, like you readers may have notice the title of the story |"Forgiveness."| |Chapter 1.| and underneath it reads |"Mistakes."| |Part 1.| I plan on having NINE Main Sections (Mistakes, Resentments, Regrets, Guilt, Forgiveness, Faith, Loyalty, Family and Love...) and I plan for each Main Section to have several different Parts until the storyline of each Section plays itself out.. And the storylines of each Section will bleed into each other from time to time but will do so to weave the whole story together. Any time I decide to give an Episode Title (Like the "Coyote and Raven" Episode that I can't wait to write!) it will most likely come as a Sub-Section of a Sub-Section (I hope that makes sense) and readers can make Title suggestions for any "Episodes" that I end up leaving untitled, because if I leave an Episode untitled it'll be because I couldn't think of an Episode Title on my own.

**Like I said above in one of my Author's Notes I tend to give Spoilers for my work so IF you don't want to know who I plan to have as "Coyote" and "Raven" then turn away now because I just can't resist!... **

**DRUMROLL... **

**It's gonna be:** Gabriel (Coyote) and Balthazar (Raven) living it up in their own "Witness Protection Program" while working together to mascarade as the Iconic, Native American TRICKSTERS slash Demi-gods! And yes, they'll be in "the vessels" we all know and love!

I hope all the readers enjoyed the first Chapter (As well as all of the Spoilers that I couldn't help giving). PLEASE review!


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